A while back I wrote a little blurb about sex. (I’ll post it so you can read it if you want) Since I wrote that blurb, I’ve learned even more about sex, what it’s meant for, and what it can do to and for you. Just yesterday a friend asked on facebook if people thought teenagers should have sex. This question really got me thinking, and tonight I want to lay out some of those thoughts.
As I stated in my “Sex 101-Part 1” note, sex is a beautiful thing. But… as I have learned more, sex can also be very hurtful and damaging to a person if participate too soon. Sex leaves a person with a strong connect, whether we want to admit it or not. As I talked about in part 1, it makes “two become one”. But in this little blurb, I want to be open and explain the negative effects of sex.
Once you have had sex once, you will want it again… and again… and again. It is literally addicting. It clouds your mind and in some cases, can take over your thoughts. Some people try to deal with the vicious cycle by masturbating. In my opinion, masturbating is not any better. I know this is off topic here a bit, but masturbating only keeps the vicious cycle going. (Honestly it is better to train your mind and wean yourself off if needed, not keep teasing and taunting your mind. Eventually masturbating will not be enough and you will be back at square one.)
Another point that I have, I will illustrate using a scenario. Jill meets Jack. Jack and Jill become sexually involved. Jack leaves Jill for the old lady in the shoe. Jill has already given her heart and body to Jack. What ever will she do? Jill becomes depressed and decides to go and look for love. But as she is looking for love, she has also locked her heart away so it will not get hurt again. In this numb search for love, Jill begins to see that she can use her body as a tool. It’s a power that she has over the other men. She begins to aimlessly throw herself at other guys and begins to feel her “self-esteem” rise because now SHE is in control, and no one can hurt her this way.Here is the problem with this. Though Jill may not see it at the time, Jill has made choices that are going to have a lasting effect on her. She may feel that she is safe and in control, but really, she is only hurting herself more and more. She may feel that her self-esteem is rising, but really, it’s plunging to an all time low. Many times, individuals who are in Jill’s place (can be a guy or girl), will not begin to see these effects until they have found themselves in a serious relationship, or until something tragic happens. That is when it all sinks in. And believe me, it’s not pretty.
I wish I could let each of you see my heart right now. I wish you could feel the urgency. I know that I can’t make the decision for you, but I hope that you have at least heard me out. Every day I regret the fact that I can’t tell my boyfriend that I saved all of me for him. Every day I wonder how much it would’ve meant to him for me to be able to tell him, “I saved all of me for you because YOU are the best”!
Sex is not for children. (I don’t mean ages 1-12 children. I mean anyone who treats sex lightly.) Sex is for those who are mature. And if you are mature, you will have sex when it is appropriate. I don’t believe that there is an age or age group when sex does become acceptable, (though there is such thing as sex being used too young. A 12, 13 or even 14 year old has no business having sex because most likely, they aren’t married.) but I do believe there is a maturity level where sex is not appropriate. You all know the lasting effects that sex can have. We’ve all been taught that sex can lead to STD’s and babies. Both of which will change your life forever. So unless you know how to respect sex, you have no business having it. You should be able to respect yourself and your partner enough to not even go there ultimately until you are married. Once you are married, babies are no longer a tragedy. They are a blessing. (I personally do not believe that babies are ever a tragedy, but I do believe it is a tragedy that babies have to be brought into this world or killed because it’s parents bad decisions.)
How to wind this down? Stop and think before you do all the physical stuff. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your life has changed one way or another. I can’t go back and change my past, but if I can save someone else from the heartbreak that I have endured, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to do so. Sex is beautiful, but demands respect. If you can’t give it that, you have no business having it.
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)
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