Ever since I began attending The Beacon of Truth a few years ago, they always preached about losing their traditions and doctrines of man. Since the majority of the church members came out of the Amish and Mennonite ways, I never really thought that it really applied to me. I mean, I didn’t have all these weird traditions and doctrines.
Today during the sermon, I really felt God speaking to me about a couple of things. (I’ll only mention one in this little blurb and the other tomorrow night.) I heard God ask me, “Are you willing to give something up for me?” First automatic thought was, “Of course, God!” But then I heard Him say, “Think about it.” That’s when I stopped and realized, it’s not as easy as it sounds!
Recently a friend wrote a note about her convictions to not celebrate Christmas anymore. As I read through the comments, it really made me realize how tight we hold onto the things in our lives that we love… whether they are pleasing to God or not. Now, please don’t go into a little rant about how you think Christmas is Christ’s birth or how God sees nothing wrong with it. I’m not writing this for debate and I’m not focusing on Christmas. I just used it for an example.
We each have little traditions or doctrines that we hold onto. It doesn’t just have to be holidays. It could be our mindsets towards certain things or people. I’d like you to take a moment and just mentally think of some things that you hold onto. Here’s an example. I don’t really celebrate the New Years, but I do set new goals and usually stay up till the New Year rolls around. What if I allowed myself to become sensitive to God’s voice and He said that He wanted me to treat New Years Eve and new years as any other day of the year? So now I have a few options. I can just say “screw you! It’s not that big of a deal!” I can ignore the voice. Or, I could even say, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” But there’s another choice that would be more pleasing to God. Listening and obeying.
There are some issues with whole topic though. Many individuals, even “strong” Christian’s, are not sensitive to God’s voice. We get too busy doing what we want to do, and we get all caught up in what we enjoy doing. And the more I think about it, I think there are Christian’s who don’t want to be sensitive to God’s voice because they want to keep things the way they are. (And we wonder why the world has so many “Sunday Christian’s”. Many of us have this “come as you are and you don’t have to change cuz God loves you for you” mentality.)
I guess here is my challenge for myself and you. Honestly learn to seek God in EVERY aspect. Don’t just say you are seeking God, and don’t do a halfway job of it. We all need to get to the point to where we are sensitive to God’s voice AND have a willingness to be able to change anything in our lives that God wants us to. Are you ready for the challenge? Or are you too comfortable just doing a halfway job of being a Christian too? Are you willing to give up your favorite traditions for our God? He gave up more for us than we'll ever be able to give back, so why not do the absolute, honest best we can for God?
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Forgiveness
I want to start off and say that if you have been trying to follow my blogs about the Five Love Languages book, I am sorry that I haven’t kept up with that every night. My days have became quite busier and lately, so many thoughts seem to be filling my mind. I will start out by warning each of you that this blog may offend you, but it is the truth and it’s something that is really on my heart today.
Let start out by talking to you “Christian’s” or “Believers” or whatever you want to call yourselves. You, my dear friends (as a whole) are the most two-faced, hypocritical people on this planet. Now, so that everyone caught what I said, I will say it again. I am not talking about each and every one of you, but a vast majority of you. And, as I say not every one of you, that does not mean that you should go ahead, close the tab, and walk away feeling like you are “scott-free” because you KNOW I can’t be talking about you! Eh. May I point out that if you have that attitude, you just may be one of these individuals that I am talking about?
The LARGE reason that I wanted to write this little blurb was because of that little acted upon, but long word… forgiveness. We all know (or hopefully you do) that Jesus said that we are to forgive our brother (or sister, or whoever else is around us, mind you) 70 x 7 times! Yes, I know. Everyone is saying, “Wow, 490 times?”. Yes, my dear friends. 490 times. But here is the problem with us Christian’s, we get stuck on that number! We know how many times we are to forgive someone, but do we act on it? I would like to tell you a story to illustrate. True story, but I have changed the names.
Once upon a time there was a man named George. George had a job, land, a wife, and children. For some unknown reason, George decided to take another woman on the side for his own sexual gratification. No one knew of these escapades until months later. But, months later, George confessed to his family what he had done. Though it tore his family apart, his family forgave him. But alas, the story goes deeper.
George had a daughter named Lily. Lily looked up to her father and they had started to finally build a relationship. George discussed how his wife suspected he was cheated and how much that irritated him to Lily. Lily laughed it all off and totally believed her dad. When her dad came clean to Lily and the rest of her family months later, Lily was torn. She felt totally hurt and betrayed. But what was she to do? Her mother had nothing to do with her, and if she totally cut off her dad, she would have no parents. So she forgave him. For the next few months Lily would cry herself to sleep because she was beside herself. Did everyone lie to her? Around this same time Lily got introduced to the concept of having a deeper relationship with God. She ate it up! After she was able to give God everything, and it was then that the anger and hurt towards her dad totally died.
Life went on and Lily grew up. Lily’s relationship with her father began to get more and more strained as she grew up. Many would account it to the fact that she was the oldest and “Daddy didn’t want to let her go”. She no longer felt that she could confide in her dad, and she felt that her dad didn’t trust her. Why he didn’t trust her, she had no idea.
George has always had issues with trying to show love to those around him. He never really learned how. So when Lily went off to college, that almost lack of love, turned into a lack of love to Lily. When a prince came riding up to sweep Lily of her feet, she was swept! She had found someone who knew how to love her. He made her feel special. He knew how to talk to her when she was upset. He genuinely cared. But then, one day, Lily and her prince took their love into the physical realm. Too far into the physical realm.
When George first found out, he didn’t know how to take it. At first he blamed himself, then he blamed the prince, and then he blamed Lily. The same day that George found out he said that he had forgiven Lily, but in all honesty, that wasn’t the case.
(To speed up the story, we will skip uphead)
For almost a year, Lily has felt completely shunned by her father and she doesn’t understand. Her sin honestly only affected her and her prince. But her dad’s effected his family and his lovers families. But even though so much hurt was done with George’s sin, EVERYONE forgave him. So now Lily must wonder, “Why can’t I be forgiven too?”
Here’s the thing guys, forgiveness is a two-way street. You can’t just demand forgiveness, but not be willing to give it when the time comes. The Lily girl I mentioned in the story, that same girl has tried so hard to get her life turned around. But it is hard to turn your life around when at least one person close to you is still putting you down and expecting the worst. Wouldn’t you agree?
Let me put it this way, you (yes, each and every stinkin one of you) has NO right to not forgive someone. ESPECIALLY if they are honestly trying to change. Can you recall a man named Jesus? Do you remember what he did for us? Let me refresh you. A sinless man who walked on a sinful earth gave his LIFE for you and me. Many of these people that he died for had even done wrong towards him or talked wrongly of him! He even died to forgive the ones that had Him killed! Now, if you want to play dumb you can say, “well, they killed him. He didn’t have a choice.” Bologna. Jesus is the son of God. He could’ve called upon His father to save Him. But the point is, He didn’t. He was stripped and beaten! They shoved thorns into his head. The nailed his hands and feet onto this big wooden cross. (Let me make a note that hands and feet are a couple of the most sensitive areas on our bodies) And he did all this to forgive a bunch of losers like us?
Go ahead. Continue on with your little lives. Go to your church every weekend. But that does NOT make you a Christian. And let me say this, for all you “so spiritual” people that “have it all together” and are “so perfect”, get a life! It is time for you to finally walk the walk and not just talk the talk. You may have some people fooled, but I know many people, especially many non-believers that can see right through your act. And then I say, SHAME ON YOU! God sent us to be a light and all you do is turn people away because of your hypocritical actions, or you encourage other individuals to join in with your two-faced ways.
Was this harsh? Yes, probably so. But I am so tired of people not being able to live out what they say that believe. Forgiveness is tough to a certain point, but it is also one of the easiest things you will ever be able to do. And let me say this, forgiveness isn’t just an option. It is a command. If you can’t forgive someone else, then think about how your life would be if Jesus wouldn’t have died to forgive you. Forgiveness is more than just flipping your head and saying “I forgive you”. It’s a heart change towards that person.
Let start out by talking to you “Christian’s” or “Believers” or whatever you want to call yourselves. You, my dear friends (as a whole) are the most two-faced, hypocritical people on this planet. Now, so that everyone caught what I said, I will say it again. I am not talking about each and every one of you, but a vast majority of you. And, as I say not every one of you, that does not mean that you should go ahead, close the tab, and walk away feeling like you are “scott-free” because you KNOW I can’t be talking about you! Eh. May I point out that if you have that attitude, you just may be one of these individuals that I am talking about?
The LARGE reason that I wanted to write this little blurb was because of that little acted upon, but long word… forgiveness. We all know (or hopefully you do) that Jesus said that we are to forgive our brother (or sister, or whoever else is around us, mind you) 70 x 7 times! Yes, I know. Everyone is saying, “Wow, 490 times?”. Yes, my dear friends. 490 times. But here is the problem with us Christian’s, we get stuck on that number! We know how many times we are to forgive someone, but do we act on it? I would like to tell you a story to illustrate. True story, but I have changed the names.
Once upon a time there was a man named George. George had a job, land, a wife, and children. For some unknown reason, George decided to take another woman on the side for his own sexual gratification. No one knew of these escapades until months later. But, months later, George confessed to his family what he had done. Though it tore his family apart, his family forgave him. But alas, the story goes deeper.
George had a daughter named Lily. Lily looked up to her father and they had started to finally build a relationship. George discussed how his wife suspected he was cheated and how much that irritated him to Lily. Lily laughed it all off and totally believed her dad. When her dad came clean to Lily and the rest of her family months later, Lily was torn. She felt totally hurt and betrayed. But what was she to do? Her mother had nothing to do with her, and if she totally cut off her dad, she would have no parents. So she forgave him. For the next few months Lily would cry herself to sleep because she was beside herself. Did everyone lie to her? Around this same time Lily got introduced to the concept of having a deeper relationship with God. She ate it up! After she was able to give God everything, and it was then that the anger and hurt towards her dad totally died.
Life went on and Lily grew up. Lily’s relationship with her father began to get more and more strained as she grew up. Many would account it to the fact that she was the oldest and “Daddy didn’t want to let her go”. She no longer felt that she could confide in her dad, and she felt that her dad didn’t trust her. Why he didn’t trust her, she had no idea.
George has always had issues with trying to show love to those around him. He never really learned how. So when Lily went off to college, that almost lack of love, turned into a lack of love to Lily. When a prince came riding up to sweep Lily of her feet, she was swept! She had found someone who knew how to love her. He made her feel special. He knew how to talk to her when she was upset. He genuinely cared. But then, one day, Lily and her prince took their love into the physical realm. Too far into the physical realm.
When George first found out, he didn’t know how to take it. At first he blamed himself, then he blamed the prince, and then he blamed Lily. The same day that George found out he said that he had forgiven Lily, but in all honesty, that wasn’t the case.
(To speed up the story, we will skip uphead)
For almost a year, Lily has felt completely shunned by her father and she doesn’t understand. Her sin honestly only affected her and her prince. But her dad’s effected his family and his lovers families. But even though so much hurt was done with George’s sin, EVERYONE forgave him. So now Lily must wonder, “Why can’t I be forgiven too?”
Here’s the thing guys, forgiveness is a two-way street. You can’t just demand forgiveness, but not be willing to give it when the time comes. The Lily girl I mentioned in the story, that same girl has tried so hard to get her life turned around. But it is hard to turn your life around when at least one person close to you is still putting you down and expecting the worst. Wouldn’t you agree?
Let me put it this way, you (yes, each and every stinkin one of you) has NO right to not forgive someone. ESPECIALLY if they are honestly trying to change. Can you recall a man named Jesus? Do you remember what he did for us? Let me refresh you. A sinless man who walked on a sinful earth gave his LIFE for you and me. Many of these people that he died for had even done wrong towards him or talked wrongly of him! He even died to forgive the ones that had Him killed! Now, if you want to play dumb you can say, “well, they killed him. He didn’t have a choice.” Bologna. Jesus is the son of God. He could’ve called upon His father to save Him. But the point is, He didn’t. He was stripped and beaten! They shoved thorns into his head. The nailed his hands and feet onto this big wooden cross. (Let me make a note that hands and feet are a couple of the most sensitive areas on our bodies) And he did all this to forgive a bunch of losers like us?
Go ahead. Continue on with your little lives. Go to your church every weekend. But that does NOT make you a Christian. And let me say this, for all you “so spiritual” people that “have it all together” and are “so perfect”, get a life! It is time for you to finally walk the walk and not just talk the talk. You may have some people fooled, but I know many people, especially many non-believers that can see right through your act. And then I say, SHAME ON YOU! God sent us to be a light and all you do is turn people away because of your hypocritical actions, or you encourage other individuals to join in with your two-faced ways.
Was this harsh? Yes, probably so. But I am so tired of people not being able to live out what they say that believe. Forgiveness is tough to a certain point, but it is also one of the easiest things you will ever be able to do. And let me say this, forgiveness isn’t just an option. It is a command. If you can’t forgive someone else, then think about how your life would be if Jesus wouldn’t have died to forgive you. Forgiveness is more than just flipping your head and saying “I forgive you”. It’s a heart change towards that person.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Love you, little one!
At the end of last month I had a song come to me. It’s one that I have wanted to write since June but words could not describe what was going through my head. Finally once I was able to clear my head and let go of some of the sadness, I have been able to write this song. For the past 2 years it seems like I had hit a major roadblock when it came to writing songs, but then this one just came. And I give all the honor and glory to God.
I have chosen to post the lyrics of the song on this day for a reason. Today would’ve been the day that I would’ve seen my little one. I know everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t ever take the sadness away. But, God can. So anyways, this song is not only dedicated to Brighton, but also to any parent that has lost a child. (not only to miscarriage)
Verse 1:
How could you love someone so
One you didn’t even know.
Dreams of you every night
I don’t wanna let you out of my sight.
Chorus
Would I know you
Would you see me
On that bright shining day.
Would we run and play
Would you welcome my embrace
On that bright shining day.
I just wanna hold you
But I know that I must wait
To see your face.
Verse 2
Would I have laughed or cried
To hear your first whine.
Would “mama” have been your first word
My love could’ve been your whole world.
(Chorus)
Bridge/Verse 3
I don’t wanna say goodbye
Don’t wanna let you go. No, no, no, no.
(Chorus)
I have chosen to post the lyrics of the song on this day for a reason. Today would’ve been the day that I would’ve seen my little one. I know everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t ever take the sadness away. But, God can. So anyways, this song is not only dedicated to Brighton, but also to any parent that has lost a child. (not only to miscarriage)
Verse 1:
How could you love someone so
One you didn’t even know.
Dreams of you every night
I don’t wanna let you out of my sight.
Chorus
Would I know you
Would you see me
On that bright shining day.
Would we run and play
Would you welcome my embrace
On that bright shining day.
I just wanna hold you
But I know that I must wait
To see your face.
Verse 2
Would I have laughed or cried
To hear your first whine.
Would “mama” have been your first word
My love could’ve been your whole world.
(Chorus)
Bridge/Verse 3
I don’t wanna say goodbye
Don’t wanna let you go. No, no, no, no.
(Chorus)
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010-So Many Lessons
Each of our lives has its ups and downs. The same can be said about each year. As I look back on life I can say that this past year has had the best ups, and the worst downs. There are many things I regret, but at the same time, I am so thankful that I am a child of the almighty God who has blessed me so much!
This past year has taught me so many things. I feel like I’ve grown in so many ways and learned many things (probably too many things). I’ve learned that love is respect. If there is no respect, love will be lost in the end. I’ve learned what it’s like to lose someone that you had made your whole life. I’ve learned what it feels like to lose someone that you didn’t even know, but had somehow grown so very attached to. I’ve learned that you can’t run from God. I’ve learned it’s harder to forgive yourself than to have God forgive you. And even more importantly, I’ve learned how to love and to be love again.
Each of our lives has its ups and downs. The same can be said about each year. As I look back on life I can say that this past year has had the best ups, and the worst downs. There are many things I regret, but at the same time, I am so thankful that I am a child of the almighty God who has blessed me so much!
This past year has taught me so many things. I feel like I’ve grown in so many ways and learned many things (probably too many things). I’ve learned that love is respect. If there is no respect, love will be lost in the end. I’ve learned what it’s like to lose someone that you had made your whole life. I’ve learned what it feels like to lose someone that you didn’t even know, but had somehow grown so very attached to. I’ve learned that you can’t run from God. I’ve learned it’s harder to forgive yourself than to have God forgive you. And even more importantly, I’ve learned how to love and to be love again.
There have been so many great people in my life who have helped me when I finally cried out for help. (Which, wow, that is hard to do if you are a proud person.) Without these individuals, I’d probably still be wandering aimlessly around and still screwing up my life.
But you know what, I am ready for 2011! I have just been hired for 2 jobs, I am engaged to the most amazing man, and I am working on my relationship with God! I am ready to get out of debt and learn to be a good wife to my man. I can’t wait to share my special day with all those who have touched my life in some way or another! “I can see clearly now the rain is GONE!”
I can’t end this little blurb without a big thank you to my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. Even when I had done so many things that went against his will and plan for my life, even when I tried to run and hide, and even when I pushed him away because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him… He STILL took me back! Our God is so amazing, and merciful!
Heavenly Father,
God, I thank you for everything you have done for me. God, I can not say that enough. You are so amazing! I thank you for the opportunity to have another year. A new year that I can serve you with all that I have and all that I am. As this new year begins, I ask that you give me the strength that I need these next few days. Hold me close to you and whisper your promises in my listening ears. Hold the one that I lost and take good care of him till I can see him again. Help me to be that light that makes other’s wonder what makes me shine so… and that my life will point solely to You. I continue to ask your blessings on my life and the lives of those around me. Guide us and direct us in the ways of your will. I pray this in your precious holy name, Jesus Christ. Amen.
But you know what, I am ready for 2011! I have just been hired for 2 jobs, I am engaged to the most amazing man, and I am working on my relationship with God! I am ready to get out of debt and learn to be a good wife to my man. I can’t wait to share my special day with all those who have touched my life in some way or another! “I can see clearly now the rain is GONE!”
I can’t end this little blurb without a big thank you to my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. Even when I had done so many things that went against his will and plan for my life, even when I tried to run and hide, and even when I pushed him away because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him… He STILL took me back! Our God is so amazing, and merciful!
Heavenly Father,
God, I thank you for everything you have done for me. God, I can not say that enough. You are so amazing! I thank you for the opportunity to have another year. A new year that I can serve you with all that I have and all that I am. As this new year begins, I ask that you give me the strength that I need these next few days. Hold me close to you and whisper your promises in my listening ears. Hold the one that I lost and take good care of him till I can see him again. Help me to be that light that makes other’s wonder what makes me shine so… and that my life will point solely to You. I continue to ask your blessings on my life and the lives of those around me. Guide us and direct us in the ways of your will. I pray this in your precious holy name, Jesus Christ. Amen.
This past year has taught me so many things. I feel like I’ve grown in so many ways and learned many things (probably too many things). I’ve learned that love is respect. If there is no respect, love will be lost in the end. I’ve learned what it’s like to lose someone that you had made your whole life. I’ve learned what it feels like to lose someone that you didn’t even know, but had somehow grown so very attached to. I’ve learned that you can’t run from God. I’ve learned it’s harder to forgive yourself than to have God forgive you. And even more importantly, I’ve learned how to love and to be love again.
Each of our lives has its ups and downs. The same can be said about each year. As I look back on life I can say that this past year has had the best ups, and the worst downs. There are many things I regret, but at the same time, I am so thankful that I am a child of the almighty God who has blessed me so much!
This past year has taught me so many things. I feel like I’ve grown in so many ways and learned many things (probably too many things). I’ve learned that love is respect. If there is no respect, love will be lost in the end. I’ve learned what it’s like to lose someone that you had made your whole life. I’ve learned what it feels like to lose someone that you didn’t even know, but had somehow grown so very attached to. I’ve learned that you can’t run from God. I’ve learned it’s harder to forgive yourself than to have God forgive you. And even more importantly, I’ve learned how to love and to be love again.
There have been so many great people in my life who have helped me when I finally cried out for help. (Which, wow, that is hard to do if you are a proud person.) Without these individuals, I’d probably still be wandering aimlessly around and still screwing up my life.
But you know what, I am ready for 2011! I have just been hired for 2 jobs, I am engaged to the most amazing man, and I am working on my relationship with God! I am ready to get out of debt and learn to be a good wife to my man. I can’t wait to share my special day with all those who have touched my life in some way or another! “I can see clearly now the rain is GONE!”
I can’t end this little blurb without a big thank you to my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. Even when I had done so many things that went against his will and plan for my life, even when I tried to run and hide, and even when I pushed him away because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him… He STILL took me back! Our God is so amazing, and merciful!
Heavenly Father,
God, I thank you for everything you have done for me. God, I can not say that enough. You are so amazing! I thank you for the opportunity to have another year. A new year that I can serve you with all that I have and all that I am. As this new year begins, I ask that you give me the strength that I need these next few days. Hold me close to you and whisper your promises in my listening ears. Hold the one that I lost and take good care of him till I can see him again. Help me to be that light that makes other’s wonder what makes me shine so… and that my life will point solely to You. I continue to ask your blessings on my life and the lives of those around me. Guide us and direct us in the ways of your will. I pray this in your precious holy name, Jesus Christ. Amen.
But you know what, I am ready for 2011! I have just been hired for 2 jobs, I am engaged to the most amazing man, and I am working on my relationship with God! I am ready to get out of debt and learn to be a good wife to my man. I can’t wait to share my special day with all those who have touched my life in some way or another! “I can see clearly now the rain is GONE!”
I can’t end this little blurb without a big thank you to my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. Even when I had done so many things that went against his will and plan for my life, even when I tried to run and hide, and even when I pushed him away because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him… He STILL took me back! Our God is so amazing, and merciful!
Heavenly Father,
God, I thank you for everything you have done for me. God, I can not say that enough. You are so amazing! I thank you for the opportunity to have another year. A new year that I can serve you with all that I have and all that I am. As this new year begins, I ask that you give me the strength that I need these next few days. Hold me close to you and whisper your promises in my listening ears. Hold the one that I lost and take good care of him till I can see him again. Help me to be that light that makes other’s wonder what makes me shine so… and that my life will point solely to You. I continue to ask your blessings on my life and the lives of those around me. Guide us and direct us in the ways of your will. I pray this in your precious holy name, Jesus Christ. Amen.
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Thursday, December 30, 2010
The Five Love Languages Quest-Chapter 3- 12/30/2010
The more I read the Five Love Languages book, the more I realize, this book is for everyone. It’s not just for those who want to be married. Or those who are dating. Or those who are married. It is for the sister, the brother, the aunt, the uncle, the mom, the dad, and even the friends. Again I urge each of you to go and pick up this book because it can help you with every relationship in your life!
Chapter 3 focuses on words of affirmation. This chapter was very insightful, but at the same time, it was a struggle for me. I was raised with tough love, and not very many words of affirmation were spoken, and therefore, it is hard for me to speak this language. I don’t know how to and when I try, it feels so out of place. When my fiancé and I were working thru some issues the other day, it dawned on me that I don’t tell him how much he means to me very often. Realizing this was a slap in the face. If I can’t tell someone how much they mean to me, will they assume that I don’t care that much about them? Honestly, I don’t want to risk this. So when it came to this chapter, I took notes.
Chapman states that there are 3 different forms of words of affirmation: Encouragement, praise, and kind words. I believe now that it is important to encourage someone to do something. Help them believe that they can achieve. And when they can, tell them how great they did! I know there are a lot of women out there that need to hear that they are beautiful on a regular basis. I know that many of us just ignore those women and tell them to quit fishing for compliments. But we are all different and I think that we need to be more sensitive to the needs of those around us.
In this chapter, Chapman speaks of a man who had many failed relationships because after a while the girls got tired of feeling like they didn’t mean anything to him. His question to Chapman was, what do I do? Chapman asked about his relationship with his parents and that is where he started. Chapman gave the man 3 tasks that would help him to learn to speak words of affirmation. These tasks are also ones that I am challenging myself to do, and I am also challenging each of you.
Task1. Start where you are-- practice using words of affirmation on those who are already in your life.
2. Be active, not passive-- the choice to love is the choice to take initiative.
3. Choose a strategy for loving or expressing love--verbalize the truth. Love stimulates love.
Even though “Words of Affirmation” may not be your love language, Mr. Chapman expresses the importance in learning to speak each of the languages. I know this chapter alone really challenged me, and I hope that you will take a look into your own life and let it challenge you.
Thoughts and Challenges1. To what degree did you receive words of affirmation from your parents?
2. Do you find it easy or difficult to speak words of affirmation to your parents? Why?
3. If you find it difficult, is it time for you to take the initiative to express words of affirmation to your parents?
4. How freely do you express words of affirmation in other relationships?
5. Is there a relationship you would like to enhance? Do you think speaking words of affirmation would be meaningful to that person?
6. What is your response to the statement that words of affirmation “can be learned”?
7. Write an affirming handwritten note to someone in your life today. Specifically consider how to include the dialects of encouragement, praise and kind words as you write.
Chapter 3 focuses on words of affirmation. This chapter was very insightful, but at the same time, it was a struggle for me. I was raised with tough love, and not very many words of affirmation were spoken, and therefore, it is hard for me to speak this language. I don’t know how to and when I try, it feels so out of place. When my fiancé and I were working thru some issues the other day, it dawned on me that I don’t tell him how much he means to me very often. Realizing this was a slap in the face. If I can’t tell someone how much they mean to me, will they assume that I don’t care that much about them? Honestly, I don’t want to risk this. So when it came to this chapter, I took notes.
Chapman states that there are 3 different forms of words of affirmation: Encouragement, praise, and kind words. I believe now that it is important to encourage someone to do something. Help them believe that they can achieve. And when they can, tell them how great they did! I know there are a lot of women out there that need to hear that they are beautiful on a regular basis. I know that many of us just ignore those women and tell them to quit fishing for compliments. But we are all different and I think that we need to be more sensitive to the needs of those around us.
In this chapter, Chapman speaks of a man who had many failed relationships because after a while the girls got tired of feeling like they didn’t mean anything to him. His question to Chapman was, what do I do? Chapman asked about his relationship with his parents and that is where he started. Chapman gave the man 3 tasks that would help him to learn to speak words of affirmation. These tasks are also ones that I am challenging myself to do, and I am also challenging each of you.
Task1. Start where you are-- practice using words of affirmation on those who are already in your life.
2. Be active, not passive-- the choice to love is the choice to take initiative.
3. Choose a strategy for loving or expressing love--verbalize the truth. Love stimulates love.
Even though “Words of Affirmation” may not be your love language, Mr. Chapman expresses the importance in learning to speak each of the languages. I know this chapter alone really challenged me, and I hope that you will take a look into your own life and let it challenge you.
Thoughts and Challenges1. To what degree did you receive words of affirmation from your parents?
2. Do you find it easy or difficult to speak words of affirmation to your parents? Why?
3. If you find it difficult, is it time for you to take the initiative to express words of affirmation to your parents?
4. How freely do you express words of affirmation in other relationships?
5. Is there a relationship you would like to enhance? Do you think speaking words of affirmation would be meaningful to that person?
6. What is your response to the statement that words of affirmation “can be learned”?
7. Write an affirming handwritten note to someone in your life today. Specifically consider how to include the dialects of encouragement, praise and kind words as you write.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Jesus, All for Jesus-- 12/8/2010
As we were singing a song tonight at church, I realized that I needed to take a break tonight from the Five Love Languages blogs. I feel like God has really laid this on my heart and I do feel that it is a very important message. As you read this, I pray that you will be open and honest with yourself. Be transparent and let yourself see if you are the person that I may mention in this little blurb.
The song that started this whole thing is called “Jesus, All for Jesus”. Until I began attending my current church, I had not heard this song. But I have been so blessed to have come to know it. Here are the lyrics.
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be.
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions,
hopes and plans.
I surrender these
into your hands.
hopes and plans.
I surrender these
into your hands.
For it’s only in Your
will that I am free.
For it’s only in Your
will that I am free.
will that I am free.
For it’s only in Your
will that I am free.
Although I say that I am glad I have come to learn this song, I realized tonight that I had not totally been able to wrap my mind about what the song was saying. Then tonight, for some reason, it all made sense. Suddenly I understood what meant about being free and how I could become free.
The song can be looked at like this. Section one (or verse one), is step one. It is a yearning. We have to have a yearning, a desire to want to follow God, to seek Him. We have to have that desire to want to be everything to Jesus. To want to give everything to Jesus. Section two (or verse two), likewise, is step two. Step two is the actual giving of everything to God. Saying, “God, I want you to take everything. I take everything I have ever wanted and I want You to have it. Do what You will with my life.” This itself is a very powerful section of the song. Letting go of everything you have wanted, have planned, and giving it all to God. Section three (or the chorus), is the results of step 1+step 2. The result is essentially freedom.
I was recently confronted by a friend saying that they had given God everything once before, but God just abandoned then. What part of “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deu. 31:6) do you not understand? Here’s the kicker though. Like in verse two where the song talks about giving all of our “ambitions, hopes and plans”, that doesn’t say, “some of my ambitions, hopes and plans”. If we only give God the parts of our lives that are easy to give, that only results in chaos, uncertainty, and essentially, bondage. In Revelations 3:16 God says, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.” God is serious about this. You can’t have one foot in the kingdom and one foot in the world. It doesn’t work that way. We live in the world, but that does not mean we have to be part of it. Unfortunately some are not willing to give God everything. Then I have to wonder, why do they expect God to give them everything?
Some people feel that if they give God everything then they become “bible thumpers” or “holy rollers”. They don’t want to have all these rules and regulations and mainly they are just afraid of being restricted. But this is where the chorus comes in when it says, “for it’s only by Your will that I am free”. I am personally seeing this to be so true in my life. When I was living outside of God’s will, I felt trapped. I felt stuck in a life, in a stereotype that I couldn’t get out of. Yes, it may be fun for a while, but then it starts to take over us. (And many times this is where the depression comes in.) God has a plan for our lives as stated in Jeremiah 29:11. Many people think this means that God has every detail of our lives planned out, but I believe this to be talking about the plan that God has had for each one of us since day one of the creation of man. The plan for man to walk to God and for God to give each one of us a future. Does this mean that God is going to give us long life or a nice place or a great job? I don’t know. That is God’s department, not mine. But I do know that God has the plan for us to spend eternity with Him if we will only let Him lead us. (And again, I mean actually lead us. Not just letting Him lead part of our lives)
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m tired of not being on fire for God. And I think the only way that we can become on fire for God is to have yearning. That yearning is the fire place, the giving is the wood, and the freedom is that fire! If we keep giving all of ourselves and not try to take anything back away from God, this fire will NEVER go out. It will always keep our souls warm, all the while attracting new believers to Christ.
When we can give God everything and let Him lead us, there is a power that we have. Many of you know the classic hymn Power in the Blood. What does the chorus of that song say? “There is power, power, wonder-working power. In the blood of the lamb. There is power, power, wonder-working power in the precious blood of the lamb.” This is the power that we have when we give God everything! You want this power? Give God everything. Don’t just give God your weekends or maybe the occasional Wednesday. Give Him your mornings, your thoughts, your evenings, your joys, your burdens. Give Him absolutely everything and feel that freedom that it gives you. Let yourself be free. Have that power through Jesus Christ. Be an overcomer. Be able to praise God and say, “for it’s only in Your will that I am free”.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Five Love Languages Challenge- Chpt 2- 12/6/2010
I realized tonight that some people may not think this book is for them. I mean, love? Who needs love? Love is for those fairy-tale, twilight, Disney princess people, right? Wrong. Because each one of us in a relationship to at least someone somewhere, we still love to an extent and we still want love. Just because you are not into the mushy “love”, that does not mean that you do not love or that you don’t want to be loved.
Chapter two talks briefly about parents loving, or not loving their children and I really wanted to talk about that. When you hear people say that someone went “looking for love in the wrong places”, maybe it’s because they didn’t receive love in the “right” places. Parents, I challenge you to learn what each of your children’s love languages are. It is so important that you understand your children so that you can be there for them in the ways that they need you to be. One person in the book mentioned that every person they had met that lived on the streets did not feel love from their parents. This statement alone gave me a big red flag. This is serious stuff! Some parents may say they show their love by providing a roof over their heads and food on the table. You know, that may not be enough. Some children need you to actually spend time with them. Some children need that affection. And the list goes on.
I want to touch briefly on this affection thing with your children. Usually mothers have no problem showing their children affection. But when it comes to fathers showing affection, many times it’s a different story. Dads, if you have a children whose love language is “physical touch”, I could care less if you think you are too macho or if you feel it is the mother’s place, not yours. You need to bend down and hug your child. Let them know that you care too. There are TOO many girls that do not get that love from their fathers and they do go looking for that love other places. And too many times, it’s in the arms of another man. (And I think we all know where that can lead.)
I mentioned earlier about the fairy-tales, Twilight and Disney princess stuff. There are so many people who love “love”. In fact, some of us are quite infatuated with it! We live in the romance novels, the “love” quizzes, the love songs. Many times, because that is what we want to feel. We want what is in those forms of media. But here is the thing, we love “love”, but we don’t know or understand “love”. Love is not necessarily your heart melting, or the butterflies in your stomach, or anything like that. Those feelings can accompany love, but they don’t dictate whether or not it is love.
Gary Chapman talks about there being two stages of love. The “Obsessive Stage of Love” and the “Covenant Stage of Love”. I’ve heard the first stage also referred to as the “honeymoon stage” and that’s actually a pretty accurate stage. You’re always gushing over your love and you always want to be with your love. I’ve heard a lot of people knock this stage and call it childish or whatever else they choose to call it. Guess what? It’s normal. This is a completely normal stage that typically lasts 2 years! Who would’ve knew! But the thing is, that stage doesn’t last forever and if you plan on your love lasting forever, you will have to work at it. Know how to love your significant other. If you are unwilling to work on your love, the relationship is destined to fail.
I know I personally want to be that old couple that you see in the store holding hands. Or the old couple sitting on the front porch together every morning. That is my dream for me and my spouse someday. But for that to happen, I’ll have to put forth some effort in our relationship. I am determined that if effort is put forth into any relationship, it will succeed. No matter what happens, no matter who has done any wrong, if you work together, I believe that it can and will last. To do this, we have to listen. We have to be able to speak their love language to them, and not just speak our own. It all comes down to sort of a selflessness. And I believe that if you truly love someone, you will be willing to be selfless.
(Again, here are the questions to ponder from the chapter. Maybe right these down. If you are single, do it alone or with a friend or parent. If you are in a dating relationship, do it with your significant other. If you have children, you could even discuss them with your children. And again, feel free to share your answers if you so desire.)
1. Which of your relationships do you consider to be healthy?
2. Which of your relationships would you like to see improved?
3. How would you describe your relationship with your mother? Your father?
4. In dating relationships, how many times have you experienced “Stage One: Obsessive/Passionate Love”?
5. Were you able to make the transition to “Stage Two: Covenant Love”? Why or why not?
6. Are you willing to invest time in learning to speak the five love languages?
7. All your relationships spring from the relationship with your parents. How have you seen this to be true in your life?
8. We often believe love is simply something that “happens to you”. In what ways is this true? In what ways is this not true?
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